Curtains.

Are you lonesome tonight?
I am, and all I hear is the motor of some car
revving to its' delight.
The car has the driver, the driver, his destination.

What do I have?
Brass and dreams.

Awful curtains shade me from the dark
that eminates mournfully from the square
and I weep as I see myself in the dusty mirror
alone,
lost,
incomplete...

Become a profetional Asshole!

I am an asshole.

I"m good at it.

It saves me time, money, and energy. It"s an easy time management technique. If people leave you alone, you don"t have to deal with their shit. I really don"t like people hanging around me, because I largely find 99% of the population to be vapid. So I learned a skill I call "asshole aura".

It"s a useful tool, just don"t let it become a constant part of your personality. Because there are obviously SOME people that are worth your time, energy, and love.

How to do it:

You first need to get some wit. While some say you need to be born with it, I disagree, even the most simple of wrestling jocks can pick up a decent "edge" at any local bar. So go to the bar and listen to the banter of the yokels. Learn to deliver that main skill of the asshole... the back-handed compliment. "Gee, those shoes are nice, I bet they looked great when they were new!"...

Now if you don"t mix this with a helping of malice, you won"t insult enough to make people want to stay away from you. It"s not enough to alienate, you have to completely demoralise in order for this to work.

It"s a delicate balance between the comment and the tonality in which it"s delivered. You"ll know when you"ve got it right when the person you"ve just insulted doesn"t say anything and just stares at you, because to beat your head in would make them look really bad, but what you"ve said isn"t _THAT_ insulting either and/or is actually funny.

Pick on an obvious weakness. If someone has an obviously overinflated opinion of themselves it gets REALLY easy. Wait until they start in with a typical line of their braggadocio drivel and then follow it up with a snide remark pointing out either their hypocrisy or blatant overetimation of themselves. Get"s laughs for you, and makes them the fool. The well-timed joke is the enemy of a pretentious bastard.

Wussys.

Wussys come in all shapes and sizes and want to constantly burden you with their problems. It"s easy to drive them away, offer to help them with some "problem" at a future date and then merely "forget" to do so. Repeat until the wussy finds someone else to burden their problems on.


The Evangelical.

These guys are fun. When they start talking to you about "God" start taking off all your clothes. They"ll stop you at some point in this process in a state of stupification. And simply state that "you can"t talk about God with your clothes on." They"ll do ANYTHING for you to keep your clothes on. One thing they can"t deal with AT ALL is a naked person in broad daylight. It"s just too much. In this case the idea is to get them to shut the fuck up and go away. so make them agree to "Go away and never come back." if you"ll put all your clothes back on.

Feining like you are homosexual and blatantly hitting on the same sex helps as well, but you need to first be comfortable with your own sexuality first. You MIGHT just get results from one of those poor sexually repressed people for some good old-fashioned homo sex.

EXCITING!


How to deal with punk, emo"s, goths, or other "liberal" types.

Act like you love Rush Limbaugh and wish you could have his babies. Proclaim loudly that you like to eat raw red meat by the ground pound and you"re well on your way to sending them back to their depressed little corners of self-pity. If at all possible provide them with directions to the nearest Kleenex and Razorblade outlet store...


How to deal with "conservatives".

Act like you"re a punk/emo/goth who is a lifetime die-hard member of PETA and you have this compulsion to only eat Tofu and granola, and smoke copious amounts of marijuana. A dreadlock wig will help to convince them even further of your "Luberalness". If they still aren"t convinced after all that, just get a t-shirt printed that says "Hillary for President!"... that"ll make for hours of amusement.

SheDevil.

See her smile in the dark, hear her gasp in pain
Watch her lick the blood away, know she is insane....
She's something you can't understand, something very dark,
She does'nt know what fear is, she does'nt have a heart
She's a little bit of baby, and a little bit of whore
Give credit to her master, He has made one more...
She's nothing of an angel, she's evil deep inside
There's nothing that can stop her, many men have tried....
She'll show you darkest paradise, and leave you on your knees
She ignores your suffering, ignores your desperate pleas..
She's something better left alone, she's always in control
She'll plant a poison kiss on you and take away your soul....

Do you hate chainmail letters?

Every few months on the internet, you will come across sincere warnings about Monster Viruses that transfer through your email. Common sense tells you that this is impossible, that a text file is just text and it can't hurt you or your computer. But the warnings claim it can and often add "My system administrator passed this on to me, so it must be true", statements. You begin to doubt your technical knowledge. Don't! The warning itself , IS the "virus": it tricks people into passing it on, endlessly. Here's how I shall deal with it.

LAST "GOODTIMES" VIRUS WARNING. Goodtimeswill re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that aren't even close to your computer. It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melt It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your television & VCR and use sub-space field harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play.

It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix Kool-Aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will put a dead cockroach in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work. Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.

It will pour sugar into your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner & hotel room to your Discover card. It will slander your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead or not, such is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully those things we hold most dear. It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It will kick your dog.

It will leave libidinous messages on your bosses voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mmauve. Goodtimeswill give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methanphedime in your bath tub and leave bacon cooking on your stove while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new snowblower.


LISTEN TO ME, GOODTIMES DOES NOT EXIST.
It cannot do anything to you.
But I can. I am sending this message to everyone in the world. Tell your friends, tell your family. If ANYONE sends me another e-mail or ICQ message about this (or any other virus) fake Goodtimes Virus, I will turn them into a religion. I will do things to them that would make a horsehead in their bed look like Easter Sunday brunch.

Satanic Hedonism VS. Recreational drug abuse

For the record, i have to confess that i am active in several forums.
And this was a recent discussion between myself and someone who (at least i think) should know better:

___________________________________________

Infernal Greetings Skrivarn.

I just wanted to point out a couple things about "LaVey's book "Satan Speaks"

LaVey wasn't anti-hedonistic -he did like to drink. He says on page 107 in Satan Speaks "Sound Retreat" ... "He must live as though there were no clocks, no calendars, and subsequently, no appointments to be met. He must withdraw himself from the affairs and measurements of men, and become as hedonistic as the staunchest moralist (or faddist) is not. It is humanity that will surely kill him if allowed"- LaVey

Also the introduction is by Reverend Marylin Manson who is quite open about his hedonistic lifestyle and excessive drug use.

What is your definition of hedonism and are you also anti- alcohol- tabacco- caffeine?

What's your view on the new craze with anti-depressants?? that drug epidemic has half of Americans HOOKED.

Hail Satan!

********

__________________________________________


My reply:

Hello ********,

"Hedonism" literally means regarding pleasure as a proper motive. The best explaination of what Dr. LaVey meant by this is probably his essay THE WORLD'S MOST POWERFUL RELIGION.

There are many sources of pleasure.

From the Satanic point of view, pleasure should be considered in contrast to self-destruction and compulsion.

It's really that simple.

I agree strongly with the passage you quote from Dr. LaVey, and I live by it. I think I have an appointment sometime next October, but I will probably postpone and reschedule that at least three times because I'll forget about it by then and it will creep up on me. I avoid obligations to other people like the plague, and live to live "free fall" in my own world, in my own time. But without self-medicating. I don't see that a neccesary or prerequisite.

Lets not equivocate on the "drug" issue. Anyone with an iota of intelligence knows there is an important difference in the effects of, say, Heroin, Acid, and say Pot.

Likewise, there is a substantial difference in the effects of, say Pot and Coffee.

For the record, I drink and smoke, even socially, because I like it. I do also drink coffee on a daily basis.

In terms of psychological effect, I will concede that pot is not as bad as alcohol, but smoking it is as bad or worse for you than cigarrettes. Really, if all the people who have drinking problems sat at home and ate marijuana cookies or hash brownies, they and the world would be better off, but nothing that rational is going to happen in our lifetime.

Plus it is illegal, and in that grey area of "illegal but tolerated" just enough to insure that it is a common and widespread pretext for police intervention in peoples lives. I understand you are against systems of control very much. Why would you buy into an institution (drug counterculture) that was probably invented to be a reason to fuck with you?

Even if it were legal, it has decades of idiotic cultural baggage. Drug counterculture is the most mindless herd phenomenon since religion - why would any Satanist, or the Church of Satan for that matter, want to be associated with such a collective of idiotic losers?

....also, not to "quote scripture," but Dr. LaVey repeatedly expressed his contempt for these kinds of subcultures in no uncertain terms, assuming we both concede his opinion bears on matters pertinent to Satanism.

Marilyn Manson is definately not the brightest bulb in the pack. He says and does a lot of incredibly stupid things that contradict what Dr. LaVey was about. He has also publically backpeddled regarding his involvement with the Church of Satan (on the Bill O'Reilly show), which to me places him in the category of people who were siding up to Dr. LaVey for "noteriety by association" claiming to be all about the philosophy, yet disparaging Dr. LaVey's legacy after he passed away. If they were really so devoted to Dr. LaVey, they would not have shit on his memory. Personally I think his affiliation should be revoked.

But that flies over the head of anyone who blindly sucks up to people because they are "famous."

I think the trend toward "mood drugs" is disgusting, but I guess it keeps people showing up to work on time, and diverts them from confronting the existential horrors of their own meaningless existence that would otherwise drive them to overt self-destruction.

I'm all for confronting and training your inner demons, turning liabilities into advantages, instead of medicating into oblivion.

People who seek escape in mind-altering drugs should ask themselves why their predominant frame of mind is so shitty that they need to escape. Some people have no choice, they are damaged goods and are probably better off in self-medicated oblivion. Unfortunately they usually descend into rampant destructive compulsion that makes a disaster of the world around them.

There is a difference between being disfunctional and being "Alien" in the Satanic sense of the term. One is "unter", the latter is "uber", in relation to the common stream of human waste.

I am open to intelligent discussion/debate on these topics.

Hail!