A VOYEUR'S WET DREAM.

The eye-in-the-sky is watching. Your life is being scrutinized, analyzed. Not by some shadowy government overseer, but rather the entertainment industry and those drones they call your peers. The gods of advertisement tempt you with siren songs of Coor's and weed, bad music and conformity through mock rebellion. Dissenters are trampled underfoot by the drug-addled human herd; that mass which swarms to the clarion call of consumerism like flies drawn to warm feces. They laugh and they drink and they stumble while others--equally jejune and matched in ineptitude--live the vanilla freak show vicariously from the comfort of an armchair.
Oh yes, the cameras are everywhere. Waiting for you to fuck up.
Waiting to show the world your pretentiousness; waiting to allow the insipid billions to reward your empty existence with their undying adulation.

We live in the age of technology, and in particular, the age of video.
Cameras are no longer the cumbersome and awkward burdens they once were.
Now any fool with a pittance to spend can purchase a camera with impressive zoom capabilities and resolution; one that will fit in his pocket. Even cell phones come standard with still or video camera features. No doubt this fabulous modern technology has enabled unseemly passers-by to visually penetrate countless skirts unnoticed.
The military is understandably invested quite heavily in the surveillance department. While technology already makes available hummingbird-sized, remote-controlled cameras, the goal is to achieve surveillance with the size and scope of a small insect. At the current pace of advancement, this goal should be met in less than a decade.
Police forces have been utilizing "Cop in a Box" programs to great success. Such programs incorporate cameras into trouble spots and can monitor car speeds, red light violations, or street activity in known gang or prostitution areas.
While such tactics have recieved flak from citizens, camera programs have proliferated because they are practical solutions to cities with a lack of police funding and manpower.

As cameras continue to become embedded in everyday life, one might begin to question the future of private life.
Will we one day be living in a Trevor Goodchild-esque society, where the liberal attitude of shared "openess" is pervasive and enforced through unquestioned mass conformity?
In some ways it seems like path is unfolding before our eyes.
The dominating trend of "reality" television has shown that the herd has a significant interest in passively viewing the mundane, tedious dealings of just about anyone or anything. The powers-that-be have profited(and continue to profit) immensely from this trend, to the point where the "reality show" has become the largest genre on television.
This change has carried over to the internet, where millions of users now interact with eachother over sites like MySpace and YouTube. Now anyone can feel important by sharing pathetic videos of himself with numerous other losers. Everyone is a celebrity in the online arena of egalitarian media. All it takes is a camera and time to kill.

Likewise, an entire lifetime can be pissed away just watching other people, vicariously "living," floating about in the sea of internet flotsam and jetsom.
The virtual addict has an ever-expanding plethora of mental and physical masturbatory material at his disposal, in high definition and surround sound.

Truly, this is a wonderful time to be a voyeur.

Jesus Being a Pest, Yahweh Being a Prick.

In Matthew 26:36-45, Jesus requests 3 times from his daddy, "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will." Some people just crack under pressure, I guess...even the son of God himself. But I mean come on! Three times?! Talk about being a pest! I thought he was all-knowing, so why would he have to make that feeble request even once? Didn't he know that it "must be?" Didn't he KNOW that he absolutely MUST die for the so-called sins of mankind and that there was no way out? Didn't he realize, especially by that stage of the game, that even his omnipotent father couldn't get him out of that one? I wonder how the rest of that conversation would have gone...the third time 'round...

JESUS: Please, dad! Pretty please with sugar on top?!

YAHWEH: No, Jesus! For the third time! Now stop asking me!

JESUS: Please?! I love you!

YAHWEH: You love everybody.

JESUS: But why do I have to go through all this shit? I don't understand.

YAHWEH: Because of those two naked idiots in the Garden of Eden. They ate some fruit that gave them knowledge...

JESUS: I already know that stupid story. Come on! That whole thing about Adam and Eve is complete bullshit! They didn't exist. Humans evolved from lower life-forms. There is no original sin, whatever the fuck that is.
YAHWEH: Yes, son, but the Homo sapiens don't know that yet. You and I just know that because we're omniscient and created everything in the first place, Einstein.

JESUS: I know that!

YAHWEH: I know that you know that.

JESUS: Right. 'Cause you know all, and you and I are one. I am you; therefore I know all as well. Since we both have the same mind, I know all that you know, which is everything, 'cause we're the one true God!

YAHWEH: Right. So why are you talking to yourself?

JESUS: I don't know.

YAHWEH: Look, can we get this show on the road, please? I've got a lot of things to attend to. You can't escape your destiny, son. The Scriptures must be fulfilled, now grow some balls and do this thing.

JESUS: Are you telling me that I have to be mocked, slandered, tortured and killed in the most heinous of ways as a "sacrifice" for the innocent disobedience of two non-existent individuals, who ate a non-existent fruit, from a non-existent tree, which transferred non-existent sin through the loins of all mankind?

YAHWEH: Oh, I'll throw them all into hell forever if you don't do it.

JESUS: But hell didn't even exist until I started talking about it!

YAHWEH: Well, you're not talkin' your way out of this one, son.

JESUS: But why do you want this? It's all a sham!

YAHWEH: It's the only way I can keep from taking my fury out upon them for all time...by watching you suffer and die.

JESUS: Your fury upon them for what?! They've done nothing and YOU'RE the one who created them in the first place!

YAHWEH: I created them because I couldn't get the little buggers out of my head, and they tormented me because they're so fucking smug.

JESUS: What in the hell are you talking about, old man?! I'm about to get the shit beaten out of me and my ass crucified on two giant slabs of wood and you're babbling like a goddamn crazy person!

YAHWEH: I'm sorry, my son...
But until I've seen you whipped and beat I cannot handle man,
Until I've seen you suffer, I cannot show the love I am.
Until I see your blood flow, and hear you scream in pain,
Every good deed that humans do will always be in vain.
Until I see them mock and tear you, and rend your skull with thorns,
My only joy will ever be to make them wish they were never born.
I put you there to suffer in agony, moaning with every breath,
My sadism saves mankind with your gory, gratuitous death.
Trust me, my son, don't be afraid, for you know that we are one,
I cannot be sated until I hear you say that "it is done."
Indeed you'll die and descend to Hell where you'll see dreadful things,
But then you'll rise and sit by me and together we'll rule as kings!
But until I've seen you ripped and pierced I cannot tolerate man,
Until I've seen you in horror, I cannot be the being of love - I am.

JESUS: (...)

YAHWEH: Well? Any other questions?

JESUS: Jesus fucking Christ, you are really sick! What the hell was that?

YAHWEH: What, you didn't like my poem?

JESUS: No, I didn't like your freakin' poem! Just how nuts are you? What is this?!

YAHWEH: You asked and you received, baby. Just like you preached.

JESUS: What is all this, one big joke to you or something? What's going on here? And why am I talking to you if I am you? And if I know all that you know, why do I feel the need to keep asking you things? And why can't I understand one goddamn thing you've been saying all this time? Why can't I wrap my head around this whole ridiculous, horrible, morbid plot of yours? You're not my father! I'm not the son of God! You're not even God, are you?! You're just a crazy voice inside my crazy head! You're not real...are you?! (Listens) ARE YOU?! (Listens) Hello?! (Listens) Hey! Where the fuck did you go?! Hello?! (Listens) COME BACK! (Listens) HELLO?!

Revenge IS Productive.

Revenge is probably a word misunderstood, due to it's prominent use in mainstream media. Whenever someone is out to take revenge in the movies, usually, it is because Thunder Leg of the Four Fist Clan killed their master, and they must kill Him to return the favor.
Or, somebodies father was killed, and they have sworn to take revenge.

All revenge is, however, is a retalliation against an
individual or a group who has wronged you.
So, where the hell does it say that revenge must entail PHYSICAL HARM? That is the general misconception these dopes seem to have.
If someone calls you a dink, you punch his lights out! Revenge, right?

Wrong.

Satanists also follow Lex Talionis; an eye for an eye, the punishment should fit
the crime. So if someone calls you a dink, you call him a dink right back. (I understand this is wrong, I am just citing the most inane example I can think of for the sake of utter simplicity.)

He who turns the other cheek is a cowardly dog.
This is true for many reasons.

Likely, the person seeking to harm you is an enemy. If they don't look it, fine, they are still an enemy, simply posing as something otherwise. If they harm you in some way, and you do NOT seek revenge, what will happen to you?

Ever heard of giving an inch, taking a mile?

People have a hard time "stopping." Whether it is that crack addict who needs another hit, the alcoholic who needs just one more drink, or the fatty who needs just one more chip, you can cite a thousand examples of this.
People driven by compulsion, not indulgence.
Do you think that if you let old Billy two thumbs punch you in the face, and then act apologetic or don't do anything in return, that he is going to stop? Maybe in some idealistic fantasy world, but what about the real world?

Fuck no.

It won't stop. It will never stop. If a person has been able to drag up the "guts" to harm you in the first place, what the fuck is going to make them change their mind after the first time? If they see they can "get away" with it, by Their logic, why would they NOT pursue, and damage you further?

Self-preservation is the Highest law. The HIGHEST.
So why forgo that law in the name of mercy, or in trust?
Why would you trust someone doing this in the first place?


The Satanist is not a fool. He is clever, sneaky, full of guile. The Satanist follows the law, and would not put him or herself at risk of breaking this law, and being thrown in a cell himself.
So by this logic, for a Satanist to beat the shit out of someone, or even kill them, out of the name of revenge, would make them a pretty piss-poor Satanist, at best.
The point is, he is smarter then this, will find ways, whether it be using the law, or humiliation, or any other tactic to completely Destroy the enemy...without having to destroy their body.
That is real power. Anyone can pick up a club, and smash the skull of a passerby in through his brain. To scramble that same persons brain using no physical means or tools? That is truly a mastery in
itslef...and far more effective in the long run, for the Satanist; he gets to continue to live his life.

The Satanist is, should be, at the top of the food chain concerning the rest of the humans he walks amongst.
He is the devourer, not the food. This magician establishes
this daily with the folks he encounters, using his "magic" to
manipulate the weak to do his bidding. He establishes this relationship through his words and his actions.
To be prayed upon by a criminal, by a lowlife...by that which is the Lowest of society...is to become food.
The weak are strong in number, and they can still attack the strong, but it is up to the good Satanist to put them into their place, to Teach Them where they really belong, and to make sure they don't make the same mistake in the future.
The Satanist is protecting himself from them, and inadvertantly, anyone else in the future who the scum would have tried to do the same thing to.

A member of the Hierarchy recently pointed me in the direction of a book called, the 48 Laws Of Power.



Law 15, Crush your enemy totally.


"More is lost through stopping halfway than through total annihilation: The enemy will recover, and will seek revenge."


The intelligent Satanist, he who seeks revenge, who enacts revenge, would be very wise to keep this in mind. Revenge cannot be a half-hearted act. Not only is seeking revenge Necessary, but the extent to which it must be sought is important to establish as well. The answer, as is obvious, is to the Full Extent.


This is getting rather long. Keep in mind, the context of the offending act is important to recognize. If someone yells "fuck you" out of their car window as they drive by, this probably is not a good reason to go seeking revenge.
Be realistic. If someone is putting you at great physical risk, and it is possible to do so, a wise choice would be getting the law involved, and prosecuting that person...restraining orders, the whole bit.

That is just my two cents about this topic. The bottom line being, revenge is certainly Not "counter-productive."


PS:
On a sidenote, I want to establish that I would sooner Avoid said
conflicts then have to deal with them. For many, they live in a
situation where calling themselves a Satanist is not detrimental to
their lives in anyway. For others, like myself, this is probably not the case. Wearing many many different masks is of great importance for a Satanist as well, blending in with others as a chameleon would. It is possible for a person to go their entire lives without having to seek any kind of revenge (I have done pretty good so far, concerning that.)
but it is generally unlikely.

Also, revenge can take many many forms.
If I were to touch up on All of them, this bloody essay would
take a day and a half to read, but there are plenty of ways to catch a fly.

Simple Pleasures.

I write because I like mapping out my thoughts on paper. I never suspect that what I write will make much of a difference to anyone else. Feedback that compliments what I'm saying is always welcome, but the feedback that challenges what I'm saying—so long as it is constructive—is just as welcome, if not more so. Despite any or all feedback, I'm still going to map out my thoughts because it gives me pleasure.

Simple pleasures and a good challenge here-and-there are what keeps me smiling.
Give me some fine tobacco and a good pipe, and I'll be just fine. Admiring the craftsmanship and flavor of the pipe and how it smokes can occupy me until the bowl is done. Distinguishing the flavors of the tobacco as it mists my taste buds often brings forth memories I don't mind reliving. Adding a glass of merlot or a good single-malt scotch to the equation means adding to the pleasure of the experience.

Yet, if you also add a book, the pleasure broadens still. Give me something about ancient Rome or the Third Reich and I'll hang a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my ear.
In fact, give me a Bjarne pipe, some English tobacco, a glass of Glenfiddich, a book about Roman emperors, and a toilet seat and I won't show my face again until my feet are numb or I need a refill; whichever comes first.
Give me time with my "better half" sitting on a park bench, feeding ducks and geese and talking about why eugenics is ideal, or how the Nation can help the economy by building its own Coliseum for gladiatorial games between death row inmates, and having it shown on Pay-Per-View.

A large ball of modeling clay will keep me busy for hours. Typically, I'm the only one capable of seeing what it was I'd constructed, but that's enough for me. I might try to learn new techniques and improve each time, but that only comes second. I wouldn't dare destroy something I love simply because it isn't precise.
Give me pencils, pens, paint, paper, cardboard, magazine clippings, glue, string, tissue paper, doll parts, miniature figurines, and just about anything else I can use to create something new, and whether or not it's actually "art" is irrelevant to me.

I'll take puzzles over television, text books over celebrity magazines, sailing ship models over cell phones, and my cat over my neighbors.
I'll wear my Soviet NBC gas mask and look at books rich with pictures of the Soviet Union during the Cold War.

I have my idols and (anti-)heroes, and I use them for inspiration. Some are fictitious, some are not. Some are dead and some still live. If they're dead and I'm still paying attention to them, they've achieved a status most admirable.
If they're alive, I pay close attention and learn what I can while awaiting their next move.
If they're fictitious, I'll re-read them or watch them over again to relish the personification of what I consider grand idealism.
I remember when there was a What Would Jesus Do? explosion, and just about anywhere you looked was a WWJD tee shirt, key chain, or bumper sticker. For me, it would be What Would Hulk Do, or Wolf (Larsen), or Caesar, or Krupp, or Hearst…

My life is like my modeling clay: I will keep busy molding it into a shape that may not seem like art, but so long as I know what it is and what it's supposed to look like, and I continue to make progress, I'll be happy. I'll continue to apply new techniques and try to become a more apt sculptor, but I certainly won't stop loving it simply because it isn't precise...

Are Freemasons Satanists?

Are Freemasons Satanist? That is a question I have been asked and even had some demand it to be true and I am a little tired of it. I know all of you already know the answer to this question but I just have to get it off my chest so here is an essay I wrote about the differences between Freemasonry and Satanism.

Freemasons, where did they come from? What do they believe in? Do they control the world? Do they have a secret alliance with Satan? Are they Satanist? These are questions that many ask and never truly answer. Most seem to just make up with false accusations. I have heard tall tales about them being devil worshippers and them being in control of the entire world. To me these outlandish claims are just stupid attempts to put labels on things they do not understand nor even try to understand.

Are Freemasons the enemy? Not to me and not to most. But to some right wing extremist religions they are. The Catholic Church hates them (no surprise there, the freemasons were a group founded on hiding from and surviving the Catholics.), even the kind and caring protestants hate them. Why do all these spiritual religions hate the Masons? Because of what they stand for (Besides, religions hate each other because they all seek the same thing, power).

The Freemason beliefs are of self-improvement. They recognize that if man wishes to be successful and to survive in life he must constantly strive for improvement. They believe in science and technology and their advancement. These things in my opinion are satanic in nature and they embrace them instead of reject them. The masons understand the importance of rituals and ceremonies. The dogma that they conduct in their lodges is to install a sense of pride in their selected masonry and traditions. The degrees they give are only offered to those who prove themselves successful in the lodge and the real world. (Most mason lodges have three degrees while the famous Scottish Rite - a concordant organization, which is part of the 'Masonic family' - has an degree system consisting of thirty-two degrees.) That to me is satanic.

It is true that their rituals are used more towards installing an unbreakable law and a secret "brotherhood" mentality. They see life as the survival of the group and not as survival of the individual, which I personally disagree with. But they understand that the magic involved in their rituals has the power to control and to motivate. Some of the creeds they speak in their ceremonies have words of extreme punishment and deeply embedded historical information. They use these things to make an attitude of secrecy and control. A useful tool that they have learned over a period of four hundred or even six hundred years.

Membership into a mason lodge is of own free will. "Be he a free man or be he born to a free mother." Is one of their requirements (An old rule that was applied back in the medieval ages when not many men were free. Of course in this day in age every man is free, or so he thinks.) "He must believe in a Supreme Being and be a man of faith" is another one of their rules. They believe that every man has the right to believe in their own vision of the Supreme Being, be it Christianity, Muslim, Buddhist, Mormon, and so on. But he must have faith in some form of superior entity other than himself. For they do not believe the word of an atheist. How can a man who has no alliance with a god be trusted? If he has no faith than they have no faith in his obedience of his oaths. Every ignorant in my mind. I have more "faith" in a man that believes in himself than a man that lets fate and some form of god protect him. I disagree with this part of masonry.

Someone might want to argue that Satan could be considered "Supreme", the fact of the matter is that the entire process of application would discourage someone with behavior which is so deviate from societal norms (It depends on what Satan represents to him. If he actually believes in some being in material form craving souls than this would be true). Besides who would want a devil worshipper in their organization when he is just looking for a label for himself and wants to be the bad guy of the world. An idiot that wants that kind of attention will also use Freemasonry as an attention getter as well (not to mention Satanism for that matter). But let's examine this further: would a person who might enjoy blaspheming God (I use this word to describe one's non-belief of god) want to join a group which has an open Bible (or a Koran) on the Altar in the center of the Lodge room? Would a person who would debase Deity feel comfortable around a group of men, nearly all of whom were active in the practice of their faith? The only answer is - of course not! I may have friends that are Freemasons but I would not join their lodges and take part in something I have no found belief in. The bottom line: Freemasonry has nothing whatsoever to do with Satanism. PERIOD! End of Discussion!!! Not that some of the Freemason's ideas are not the same as a Satanist but they are both two different beasts - two separate beliefs.

Quote:
The Pentagram or five-pointed star is, of course, both a Masonic symbol and the ancient symbol of witchcraft. With its point facing down (or south, when placed on the ground) it is especially associated with Satanism. Satanists can be found wearing the inverted pentagram frequently; and it appears on the cover of many black magic books, including THE SATANIC BIBLE. In this form, it is also the emblem of the Eastern Star, the women's Masonic organization. *

The symbol that the Freemasons use is a compass and ruler with the letter G in the center. The compass and ruler are found in the tools of a stone mason and the letter G stand for geometry. The symbol is to believe to be taken from the Seal of Solomon which looks like the Star of David but one of the triangles is colored in with black. It is not the same as a pentagram; in fact it is far from it. As for the women's Masonic symbol is a total different story since Masonic religion is mainly a club for men.

I do not remember where I found this quote and nor do I remember who spoke it but it pissed me off when I first read it. Freemasonry and Satanism are two separate religions. Some of their philosophy is in common but to say Freemasons and Satanist are the same is stupid. As I have said above their rituals, their love for science and technologies, and their self-improvement is satanic in nature but their motives are not. So let's make it clear right here: Freemasons have nothing - absolutely nothing - to do with Satanism.

With their openness of religion and not ostracizing people based on their gods makes them a wiser group than most would give them credit. Sure I disagree with their God and group mentality but with their attitude of no organized religious authority should be allowed to control your life and your beliefs I tend to like them. Most of History's best men and women were Freemasons, and they have all made grand contribution to our world and development. Sure they are devoted to their gods and beliefs but I will thank them for creating (or making contributions to) a society were if a person so chooses he can truly become an individual and be free.

Freemasonry has played a significant role in the history of politics, so it influenced most or all of our leaders in the world. Some Presidents and/or Prime Ministers who were Freemasons were great, some failures, and some average. Presidents/Prime Ministers have spoken of Freemasonry's good work on behalf of charity and helping others (promoting their own agendas). As an american example, George Washington and Theodore Roosevelt also spoke of Freemasonry as an institution that teaches us how to get along in society, with respect for the equality of everyone (a far fetched idea that will truly never happen and I for one don't really wish to see), tolerance of differences among people (now I can respect people's differences but only if it doesn't interfere with my way of life), and taking action for that which is right.

Many also claim that they control the world. They say that they are the cardholders and card players of some secret world control. To them I say: stop with all the silly logic. I agree they have connections to government officials, politicians, the media, and some companies' CEOs. But so do many, many other groups. Do you really think they are the only ones who have that kind of connections? Please. There are thousands of religions, movements, and organizations that have connections and they are all fighting for their piece of the world. Look at groups like Al Qaeda, Scientology, Skull N Cross Bones, Catholic Church, all the Mafias, Socialism, Communism, Fascism, and so many more and their all fighting to have some control, some type of future. (As I see it, Satanists are smarter than to destroy ourselves in this stupidity. We can control our lives and futures by taking care of ourselves and letting these groups kill each other.)

To close this essay with saying that Freemasonry has some satanic ideas and so do many other past and present groups do/did. Freemasons are another god-based religion. One I have a little more respect for. Not just for their practices but also their history. From the fall of the Knights of Templar, to the Peasant Rebellion of 1381, to the Revolutionary War, and to WWII. It is amazing how they have survived, influenced, and it's interesting what they teach as well.
But i am reaching the end of this essays, as now it's my time to shine, survive and live.

Now to sum up all this jibberish. Freemasons are not Satanist. It's that simple.

Thanks for reading.

Hail Satan

Mr.Nice Guy.

There are many many misconceptions that the common man has about Satanism. Perhaps it is because Satanists are not common men? I have written a lot of essays in the past about "idiots" and such, so I'd like to stray away from that topic for awhile. It is redundant. We know there are idiots who lack understanding, and I don't want to sound like I am getting hung up on that fact. As a wise, bearded man once told me, "There are sometimes when you show a great deal of understanding, and others when you seem to be surprised by things that are very well known to most people." A fair statement, considering the content of my essays.

This essay instead, is about how being a nice guy can go a long way. I do not ask much of "the herd" in general. Anything I have ever desired to obtain or accomplish has not required their approval on any level. But I mean, let's face it. The world ain't filled with the alien elite. If it was, those words would lose much meaning. Many are self employed, and able to keep to themselves at their own will, live at their own pace. They are generally able to ignore who they wish to ignore, but even at that level of "isolation", they are bound to step into the flock and be forced to wade their way through it. I think like all good chameleons, they have learned to blend in enough to maintain their individuality, but avoid such confrontations. And I will tell you right now, as bold a statement this may be, they most likely didn't do it by being an asshole.

I have to deal with the public on a large scale, every single day. I do not hate my job. If I did, I would not be there, simply. But after eight hours of dealing with clods, the brain tends to get a bit melty; like an ice cream cone being eaten under a hot sun. I have from time to time, gotten a bit testy, and frankly, everyone I work with is probably in the same mind frame of careless monotony that the rest of the crowd is. This has been going on all my life, in many different crowds, and the viewpoint I took to it, before very recently, was "fudge it." Ignore them. Don't engage in conversation. Eyes forward, chin up. Turn your core temperature down to zero. Sure, they leave you alone; aye, you give them no other choice! But you will be doing nothing other then digging a shallow grave.

Magus Gilmore wrote a very good piece in his book, The Satanic Scriptures, about the weak being something like swamp leeches. One or two are a small annoyance, but in numbers, they can topple even the greatest of beasts. This rings very true in any situation, including mine, and potentially, yours as well. I was recently recommended an extraordinarily good book called The 48 Laws of Power, and I can honestly say, it belongs in any Satanists library. It is a perfect example of why my former attitude might have worked for a little while...but that the leeches would eventually begin to latch .. long.

It is hard to recommend to any cynical individualist to have a tolerance of the idiots that make up the herd; but on the contrary, I am not trying to do so. Tolerance is not required to shapeshift, to take a different form. In short; be nice to these people. It does not have to extend past common courtesy, but it is extremely helpful in the long run. You do not have to like them. You do not have to agree with them. But by being rebellious, by being cruel and unkind for no particular reason, you will only be putting yourself in jeopardy; and what self serving individual, what Satanist, would ever want to risk his own skin, for any reason at all?

Not I.

Hello my Addiction.

hello my addiction
my so called "friend"
you'll stand beside me
until the end

we started out close
and the times were fun
in the beginning
but now i'm done

somewhere along the way
things went wrong
our happiness soon turned
into a sad sad song

the lies you've told me
the truth they lack
you deceived and hurt me
stabbed me in the back

ive held your hand
afraid to let go
as we walked the path
i could not say no

i lived in your world
and forgot what's real
how to love and care
and how to feel

but the time has come
to say goodbye
to walk away
but not to cry

for you've taught me things
that'll i'll never forget
and because of this
i'm not upset

i've put you first
time and time again
turned my head at
what should've been

so i leave you now
so that i can be
the person i once was
and rediscover me.

Enlightment and Half Truths.

A certain student was on the road; and, he saw coming toward him a teacher of renown. Slung over his shoulder was a weighty sack, slowing his progress. The student decided to seize the opportunity, and asked the teacher to describe enlightenment.

The teacher put down the heavy sack, allowed a look of sheer joy to take over his face, and danced around in what can only be described as ecstasy. It brought goose bumps to the student. He wanted nothing more than to learn further. What comes next, questioned the student; at which point the teacher picked up his sack, and resumed his journey, leaving only the memory of his euphoric visage.

I can distinctly remember certain moments in my life when I experienced certain key realizations. The first was when I realized that there was no great cosmic judge who was watching my every move, and waiting with exasperating patience as I made my way toward the grave, chomping at the bit to mete out judgment on every decision I had ever made, both great and small. Though the truth of this matter may be a point of debate, it was then that I lost the Great Fear. Death was no longer a specter to be feared. Instead, it became the great enemy. The feeling of relief cannot be described. Once the fulcrum of angst has been seen through, the smaller anxieties lose their punch.

Some time later, I began to study ethics, and became interested in Amorality. When it became more than academics, and the reality that all laws, morals and rules were artificial, and could be traced back to particular times, I experienced a further moment of freedom that could felt on a visceral level. It was heady.

No laws, no rules, no barriers. I knew for the first time what it was to walk among the herd; my feet untouched by the muck, and mired refuse it produced. I was free! My own man! Master of my own ship! I had no one to answer to, save myself. This can only be experienced, as words fail to describe it.

As great an enlightenment as that was, it was only half the truth. After that moment of ecstasy, a great weight finally put down, it was time to pick it back up, and continue on my way. Though I had been forever changed, my walk appears to be that of an ordinary, law-abiding citizen. Hidden away is my freedom. To think that, just because all laws, rules and restrictions are man-made; and, that, because I have an understanding of that, I can do what I want, when I want in any way I want; and, that I should expect to get away with it, is delusional. I live in the real world; with real officers carrying real guns that are ready, willing and able to show me what happens to half assed philosophers.

A Satanist lives a life of responsible indulgence. I will probably play that note time and time again, because for me, those two words encapsulate the satanic philosophy. Realizing that you are your own God, and thinking that means you can do whatever you want is to realize a half-truth. Enlightenment is great. It is also a dime a dozen, and useless if it does not work.

Take every law that every individual who thinks they are special so they do not have to be effected by that law. Take every question of why should it be and why are you following the herd. Put them all in a bag, and say because you can..t have fun in prison, dumb ass. So what if laws are man made? Maybe there is a very good reason for them. Sure, it is nice feel above it all; but, I think most people who talk about how free they are, are just sheep who have jumped the fence. It is only a matter of time before their keepers catch up to them. Any satanic philosophy worth its salt will be practical. It will actually help you enjoy life, rather than being on the lamb. Sheep are sheep, even if they temporarily feel like they are free. We walk among them, but are not of them. We realize that freedom is working within the framework given.

I remember how good it felt to finally put down my bag of outmoded rules, fears and ought. I danced around, said isn't this grand, and picked up my bag of responsibility.

I'm still free.